Parenting through emotion coaching
Emotion coaching is a parenting technique that helps children understand and regulate their feelings. Emotion coaching is based on the idea that emotions are opportunities for learning and connection, rather than problems to be avoided or dismissed. Emotion coaching helps children develop emotional intelligence, which is the ability to recognize, express, and manage emotions in healthy ways.
Emotion coaching involves five steps:
- Be aware of your child’s emotions and show empathy. Pay attention to your child’s verbal and non-verbal cues, and acknowledge their feelings without judging or criticizing them. For example, you can say “I see that you are feeling frustrated” or “You seem very excited about your project”.
- Help your child label their emotions and validate them. Help your child name their feelings and let them know that it is normal and okay to have different emotions. For example, you can say “It sounds like you are feeling angry” or “You are feeling proud of yourself, and that’s wonderful”.
- Help your child find appropriate ways to cope with their emotions. Teach your child healthy strategies to calm down, express themselves, and solve problems. For example, you can say “When you are feeling sad, you can talk to me or hug your teddy bear” or “When you are feeling angry, you can take some deep breaths or count to ten”.
- Set limits and guide your child’s behavior. While emotions are acceptable, some behaviors are not. Let your child know what the rules and expectations are, and explain the consequences of breaking them. For example, you can say “You can be angry, but you cannot hit your sister” or “You can be disappointed, but you cannot throw a tantrum”.
- Support your child’s problem-solving and help them learn from their emotions. Encourage your child to think of possible solutions to their challenges, and help them evaluate the pros and cons of each option. Praise your child for their efforts and achievements, and help them learn from their mistakes. For example, you can say “What can you do to make your friend feel better?” or “What did you learn from this experience?”
Emotion coaching is a powerful way to help your child develop emotional intelligence, which will benefit them throughout their life. By emotion coaching your child, you are also strengthening your relationship with them and creating a positive and supportive environment for them to grow.